You Are Stronger Than Your Obsessive-Compulsion Disorder

We all have quirks. It adds to what makes us unique. There are certain things we like done a certain way. For instance, turning off the lights when not in the room, visualizing what you're going to grab in the fridge so that the door isn't kept open long, or organizing a toy car collection by year model.

Doing these routines doesn't automatically make one OCD. It's perfectly normal to have a system set for ourselves. However, it becomes a problem when that system begins to dominate our thoughts and actions, and drain us mentally and emotionally. Those who have OCD will understand what I mean by this.

The thoughts and urges are tiring and stressful. No matter how we try to rationalize, the compulsion persists because OCD isn't exactly logical. It's more like anxiety in that it feeds off itself. The more one thinks about it, or gives into the compulsion in order to find reassurance, the more it grows. Also, just like anxiety, the more one tries NOT to think about it, the more our brains will hone in on it until we consider it. Over and over and over again. It's a survival tactic. If something bothers us, then it is a problem that needs to be dealt with, so our minds will try to figure a solution.

How in the world can we beat this if we can't even try to get our minds away from it?

One tip that has helped me with OCD also helps to conquer anxiety. Don't run from the thought, or urge. Now, this doesn't mean to give in to it. It means not to get upset, or worried when your thoughts turn to whatever drives the OCD. Give yourself a set amount of time to consider the OCD, maybe five to fifteen minutes maximum. Recognize it for what it is.

Now, this next step may sound silly, but it helps to reaffirm your mind: Tell yourself everything is okay, whether out loud, or just in your head. If the OCD has you worried about whether you locked the door, or some other task, try to pay extra attention next time you complete that task. You can also connect two tasks together to help remember each. For instance, the door is locked, and then the hallway nightlight is turned on. Focus on the fact you've done it – really focus, so you can tell yourself later you've done it.

Doing this can help curb the constant compulsion to check the lock on the door because one knows beyond a shadow of a doubt they not only locked the door, but also turned on the hallway nightlight, too.

This website is a phenomenal guide with a lot of helpful information, not just for OCD, but for a wide variety of topics concerning mental health, healthy living and much more. https://www.helpguide.org/ I recommend everyone give it look.

At this moment I would like to address an issue that has severely crippled me when it comes to OCD. I have a specific type of OCD called Scrupulocity. It's ironic considering I'm more spiritual than religious. Regardless, intrusive thoughts will suddenly flood into my mind, especially when I've let my guard down to try to sleep. It gets to where even the act of breathing feels as if I'm “pushing” negative feelings toward God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.

It's incredibly difficult not to react strongly to these thoughts, or desperately push them away. Remember how trying not to think about them only makes the thoughts harder to ignore? And so, I feel horrified, like I am sinning and it is as if my soul is doomed because I'm nasty, rude and disrespectful. It's a nasty, mental cauldron that I stew in, which turns into a noxious case of anxiety. Needless to say it keeps me from sleeping easy.

How can anyone be accepting of these thoughts and feelings so that they don't cause such a strong, negative reaction when just having them makes one's soul feel damned? Logic doesn't work in the midst of one of these OCD attacks. Reason means nothing until the episode finally starts to end and you feel the relief the logic brings.

Even so, I have found what helps.

That help is, of course, prayer. I tell God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit just how these negative thoughts make me feel. I apologize for the intrusive thoughts, but also recognize the OCD for what it is. The more strongly I feel towards it, or try to push it away, the more it will continue to hound me. However, I take assurance in that God knows the truth about me. He knows what's really in my heart. He knows how I truly feel, and so I don't have to keep repeating prayers to Him to “make up” for having such thoughts and feelings.

This in turn calms the negative reaction and helps to break the cycle and constant need for assurance, although; it doesn't cure it. Remember, logic has little place during an OCD episode.

The second action that has helped is writing a letter to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Again, this may seem silly, but I wrote the letter explaining that it is mostly for my benefit. In the letter I wrote about my terrible thoughts and feelings. How I don't want to cause harm, or be a horrible person. That I want to be loving and respectful both inside and outside of prayer. I wrote the key facts about myself that I desperately need to focus on during an episode. Now, when I'm going through an episode, it helps tremendously to reread that letter and know that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit KNOW. That I DON'T have to keep repeating prayers. That I can just breathe and let the thoughts and feelings go. Everything is okay.

The terrible thoughts lessen. Their hold isn't nearly as strong.

Some may find it helpful to wear a cross to “remind” themselves they are dedicated no matter any intrusive thoughts.

So, yes, you are stronger than your Obsessive-Compulsion Disorder. It surely can't be erased right away, but we can beat it down and overcome it. If you'd like to message me to talk about OCD, feel free to do so. I work as a crisis counselor so have experience in assisting those who could use someone to talk to. If you'd like to share your experience with overcoming OCD, I would love to hear your story. Many people probably would, too.

Wishing you all the best! I'll be posting again soon. Next time will probably be about the crazy time I had as a truck driver. Stay tuned for more!

UPDATE: I've discovered something else that works wonders to dissipate the anxiety caused be
Scrupulocity. In prayer I mentioned the surety I would have negative thoughts and feelings again. They won't just go away, or stop bothering overnight. After all, this is something I have been dealing with for approximately two decades. Logically, I know that continuing to be bothered and fret over the thoughts and feelings just makes them that much stronger and frequent. So, in prayer I let it known that I would have these thoughts and feelings, but remain silent. As in, I would not be repeating any prayers to combat the thoughts, or feelings. In doing so I am ignoring the negativity and toning down my reaction to it so that its power continues to lessen. 

When I have these thoughts I will fill my heart with love and appreciation rather than succumb to disgust and worry. How? I reaffirmed in prayer that I want to be a loving and respectful person, so no matter when these thoughts and feelings intrude, my heart is one fact that will not change. There is no need to be burdened with the constant need to repeat prayers. There is nothing to make up for! (I imagine God may be happier that I'm not always yapping at Him. Haha!) My heart is known to God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost, so I can let go, feel love and try to sleep easier at night. 

Last night, I got some fantastic sleep. I'm SO HAPPY!